I shouldn't jump to conclusions!

But I have and always will!

Today's conclusion is that I should stop acting like a love sick idiot! It's not for me, I don't cope well with it, especially when it's not reciprocated.

So from now on:

1. I will not drop everything to msn/txt/talk to certain idividuals, especially when I'm out and especially since they don't either;
2. I will not go out of my way to make myself available to certain individuals - eg. rush home so that I can be home when they ring - only to be told that they have changed their minds;
3. I will never again alter my plans for anybody - sit around at home waiting for them to call when I could have gone out somewhere; and
4. I will not sit around waiting for certain individuals to contact me at their leisure when it suits them and they don't have anything better to do - only to be smsed that they now have other plans and will not be ringing, unless I wanted them to ring - sorry to be such an inconvenience!

What brought on these conclusions, I hear you ask? Simply that I realised this morning, that I was starting to put myself second, again. I have not mentioned this before but my New Year's Resolution was to do things I wanted to, when I wanted to and to be a lot more selfish.

I spent 4 years being in second place and another 4 in third and I have had ENOUGH! So from now on, if somebody wants me, they will have to come and get me and alter their plans to suit me! If they don't like this well they can find some other sucker.

There are certain individuals out there who read this, and you know who I'm talking about, that don't seem to have a clue about people. You can't just say one thing and then not do it or give a half arsed explanation such as "I've got better things to do now so I can't be bothered talking to you". I don't know about your world, but in mine I do have feelings and I do get vulnerable - especially when in love. So keep pissing me off and you'll have a much harder shell to crack! I have much stronger words that I would like to write here - to express the rage and anger that I am feeling right now, but I'm sure that it would not be allowed.