Shafted!

So I got shafted at work today!  I know I don't normally vent my personal life here, but I need to vent.

I've been with the company for just over 7 years and I've been on my current job for just over 3 and what sort of thanks do I get?  I get demoted!  That's what I get!  I don't know if anyone remembers a few weeks ago I posted on here about anxiety and depression, well that was because of my personal experiences at the time.  I had a little melt down at work and it's been just downhill from there.

Deep down I am a bit relieved because I am starting to hate my job, but then I am losing around $4000.00 a year in extra wages.  So the budget is going to suffer and I'm going to have to think of other ways of making money.  Here are my current options:

1. Get another job;
2. Step up the affiliate promotions;
3. Start writing freelance - like I've always wanted;
4. Start working on that book I've always dreamed about and fiddled with a few times; or
5. Just put up and shut up and end up a 75 year old public servant.

To be honest I like option 3 the best.  I've often thought about pursuing my writing, but I've never had the confidence to start anything.  I've now been spending so much time on here writing that I might as well start writing and seeing if anyone is interested in actually paying me for my work.  At least I still have my full-time work so it's not like I have to do it, but if it works out then it's a bonus.

I feel like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde right now.  My brain is having a fight with itself - I can do it, but you're not good enough...you know the drill!

I need to talk to my poet friend - she is awesome and she thinks I'm awesome and I love her for it.  She has too much faith in me, whereas I have none.

Any ideas?

http://www.bookdepository.com/?a_aid=pinkacquarius

Movie Review! The Words

I went to the movies tonight with a friend.  It's been such a long time since I've been to the movies - it was nice :-)

The Words

Directors: 

Brian Klugman, Lee Sternthal

Writers: 

Brian Klugman (screenplay), Lee Sternthal(screenplay)

Stars:

Bradley Cooper, Dennis Quaid and Olivia Wilde

Bradley Cooper, Rory Jansen, stars as a writer struggling with his inability to write along the lines of great writers like Hemingway.  On his honeymoon in Paris, with his new wife Dora, Zoe Saldana, they purchase an old briefcase and he finds a story hidden deep within its pocket.  The complications start for Rory when he succumbs to his need of publication.

The movie opens with Dennis Quaid narrating his own book about a young writer - Rory Jansen, his new wife Dora and his struggles to write a book, he looks really old by the way - Dennis that is, and slowly tells the story about how Rory Jansen, the writer, became a world famous author.  

This movie is a definite eye opener in that it makes you think about life and your own life - especially about the things that you wanted to do and haven't so far as well as the decisions you made along the way of life's journey.

The moral of the story is about living with your decisions and moving on when a bad one is made.

Brian Klugman and Lee Sternthal managed to write a screenplay whereby an author has written about his own life experiences through the eyes of a third person.

My friend and I found it a little bit confusing and the ending is left somewhat open - allowing for a wide variety of interpretation.  Leaving the ending so open allows people to discuss its possibilities.

The movie over all was easy to watch, allowed individual thought as well as opened up topics of conversation after movie.  An uncomplicated, dramatic film with a great cast of stars.

I would give this movie a 6 1/2 stars out of 10.

What a shit day!

It's been a really rotten day today!

I'm not going to go into it, but let me leave some clues...

Clue 1

bla·sé  (blä-z) adj. 1. Uninterested because of frequent exposure or indulgence. 2. Unconcerned; nonchalant: had a blasé attitude about housecleaning. 3. Very sophisticated. or blasé [ˈblɑːzeɪ] adj 1. indifferent to something because of familiarity or surfeit 2. lacking enthusiasm; bored [from French, past participle of blaser to cloy] Clue 2

• Dizziness, feeling lightheaded
• Excess of energy, you feel you can’t relax
• Feeling cold or chilled
• Nausea
• Numbness tingling, numbness and tingling
• Trembling, shaking, tremors
• Find it hard to breath, feeling smothered, shortness of breath
• Frequent yawning to try and catch your breath
• Constant feeling of being overwhelmed
• Fear of making mistakes or making a fool of yourself to others
• Pulsing in the ears, throbbing sound in the ear(s)
• Tickle or itch in your ear that you can't seem to get at
• Difficulty concentrating, short-term memory loss
• Difficulty thinking, speaking, forming thoughts, following conversations
• Frequent feeling of being overwhelmed, or that there is just too much to handle or do
• Short-term memory impairment, can't remember what I did a few days, hours, or moments ago
• Emotionally blunted, flat, or numb
• Feeling down in the dumps
• You feel like you are under pressure all the time
• Constipation
• Dry mouth
• The thought of eating makes you nauseous
• Difficulty falling or staying asleep
• Dry, watery or itchy eyes
• Eye tricks, seeing things our of the corner of your eye that isn’t there, stars, flashes
• Spots in the vision

Clue 3

• hurtful comments making fun of you or your work
• playing mind games, ganging up on you, or other types of psychological harassment 
• withholding important info
• making impossible demands; setting you up to fail
• intimidation (making you feel less important and undervalued)  
• pushing, shoving, tripping, grabbing you in the workplace 

If you are being bullied at work you might:

• be less active or successful   
• be less confident in your work 
• feel scared, stressed, anxious or depressed 
• have your life outside of work affected, e.g. study, relationships 
• want to stay away from work 
• feel like you can’t trust your employer or the people who you work with
• lack confidence and happiness about yourself and your work 
• have physical signs of stress like headaches, backaches, sleep problems

This is how I've felt for the last 2 days...and then on deeper reflection - I have been feeling like this for quite some time - on and off!

If anyone else is experiencing similar feelings and symptoms...the links may be able to provide you some help.

Hello!

Well, it's been ages since I've put anything in here. There are a few reasons for that. One I've started stuyding again - Accounting this time and I'm going really well, ok not really well but at least passing everything! I'm in my second semester and doing marketing and accounting. I love it, but with my hectic schedule I just don't have a lot of time to study. But it is self-inflicted. I've also been doing a personal development course, through work, and it has been good. Work is good, still enjoying it and it has been around 8 months. There has been some bitching going on, but I think that's usual when you have so many people working together.

Anyway, that's about me since January. Not very exciting, just work and study and not much play.

Something exciting has happened. My computer is cactus - hence the extended no contact. Not buying another one for a while, still trying to save money - I'll be using the ones at Uni - thank goodness for the springfield campus!